Ready for the debate

I hope the Bush debate prep team has something better to beam him through the earpiece than what the conservative pundits are offering him. Best or worst of all is Dick Morris, who yesterday proposed three lines that are guaranteed to get Bush "back in the race." Each is stupider than the one before: If Kerry says that Saddam wasn't involved in 9/11, Bush should say that Germany wasn't involved in Pearl Harbor but we went to war against fascism anyway. And on the little matter that Hitler did declare war on the U.S., he suggests saying "does anyone doubt that Roosevelt would have gone to war against Germany anyway?" (Of course he would have, but there is the small matter that Germany had invaded all its neighbors and was bombing the hell out of our closest ally, not something Saddam was doing.) (Why am I wasting my time on this.

If Kerry says Iraq was a diversion from the war on Al-Qaeda, Morris says, "Bush should hit him between the eyes: 'Al Qeada operatives are congregating in Iraq. We can kill them there before they can spread mayhem around the world.'" In other words, the legendary "flypaper" theory which assumes that there are a fixed number of terrorists in the world and that they aren't making more.

On lack of allies, Morris suggests this response: "We have the single most important ally in the fight against terror: Pakistan." So that's why we turned a blind eye to the A.Q. Khan proliferation ring? And to the Madrassas? And to Musharraf's consolidation of power.

I assume Bush will have some better answers than these, but I can't think what they would be.

For Kerry's part, I would like to see him do two small things in the domestic part of the debate:

First, reclaim some of the idea of uniting the country rather than dividing it. That was a powerful moment in the Cheney-Edwards debate, although it was really Gwen Ifill's moment when she asked why the country seemed so much more divided. The story Kerry should tell is really the story that E.J. Dionne tells in Stand Up, Fight Back: that Bush had two huge chances to bring the country together and lead more than one fierce faction -- after the contested election and after 9/11. And both times, he willfully blew the opportunity.

Second, I'd like to see Kerry deal more creatively with the inevitable tax-and-spend liberal attacks. Here's my line: "Under your administration, government spends a lot more and does a lot less. The Medicare bill is one example. I promise that under a Kerry administration, we will spend less, pass less debt on to our grandchildren, and still do a lot more." And that has the advantage of being true.

(Why not go all the way to a direct implant in the hippocampus? We have the technology...We can make him...better than before.)